“I got an erotic yoni massage and had the best orgasm of my life.”
I have a weird relationship to tantra. I find the spiritual or new age-y side of it a bit off-putting. But people promoting tantric principles or lifestyles take sex and sexual pleasure very seriously, and because of that I can’t resist looking into it.
Masturbating while visualizing balls of energy? No thanks. Open and sexually liberated people bringing focused attention to sex? Yes, please!
Recently, my research led me to yoni massages — massages focused on the vulva and vagina.
In the 1800s when women were considered “frustrated” they visited a specialist doctor to have their “hysteria” treated by a professional. Basically, the doctor performed masturbation by way of vagina and yoni massage.
Doctors would treat female “hysterics” by massaging them until they reached orgasm. The notion that women suffered from hysteria, a poorly defined disorder with a laundry list of symptoms, led to the creation of the modern-day vibrator.
Searching: Yoni Massage near me? The universe has led you to James!
Yoni massage or yonic massage is a type of Tantric massage that primarily focuses on the vulva and vagina, in the same way that Lingam massage focuses on the male genitalia. The massage is sometimes introduced as a method of relieving tension of the vagina.
Yoni massage allows you time to slowly explore your body in a more sensual way. It can also help women who have never had an orgasm and those who would like to achieve multiple orgasms. It can be very healing for those who have suffered sexual trauma in their past, because the approach and technique is all about giving to the woman—making her feel loved, cherished, worshiped, and honored.
The vagina is called yoni in Sanskrit and loosely translates to “a sacred space.” In Tantra philosophy, we approach the vagina from a place of the utmost love and respect. Yoni massage is a practice intended to truly honor a woman, to give her selfless pleasure, and to explore the sacred side of her sexuality.
When turned on, the vagina naturally releases lubricants from multiple places to make sex more comfortable and safer.
There are two sets of glands that both expel fluids.
The Bartholin’s glands (named after the Danish anatomist who researched them) will excrete a lube like fluid that will help to make things slippery and very comfortable during sex. When foreplay gets you “tuned on” these will help to make things slick and wet. I can often tell during my “tantric foreplay” when things are ready for advanced simulation by the fluid that is visible on the outside of the vagina. Some women have more fluid than others but pretty much once it is present the vagina is prepped and ready for some attention. The glands are located just below the vagina opening.
The Skene’s glands on the other hand are located just inside and below the urethra (where you pee) and they can discharge a fluid (known as squirt or female ejaculation) which can be very slight or like a water fountain. Different amounts from different women. Most women who expel the fluids from this area report having the most intense orgasms during the event. Normally these occur during G-spot orgasm, but I have seen many women release from a purely stimulated clitoral orgasm.
I have heard that about 33 percent of women produce the fluid (ejaculate) nearly every time they orgasm, and another 33 percent have never experienced it but can and the last 33 percent never have it happen in their lifetime. I don’t agree – I think that all women can experience this, it just takes the right stimulation and the willingness to allow it to occur. What I mean by that is many women have had the sensation that they were about to pee during sex or stimulation, so they held back or stopped themselves from letting go. Feeling they would be embarrassed if that happened during sex. Some have probably stopped themselves so many times that they have trained themselves to not allow it to occur. It is completely natural, and every woman should experience this at some point.
I always advise my visitors to pee before the session – if they feel like they are about to pee during stimulation – they know that they just did, so it is not that. I encourage them to push and allow it to happen. I have had tremendous success with this approach and have experienced everything from a small trickle to a full-on “water fountain” stream.
The theory is that this discharge of fluids has antimicrobial properties which can protect against urinary tract infections. Basically, wash away bacteria. In India the word for this fluid is Amrita – meaning nectar of the gods.
Some women get a blockage of one of the glands which can develop into a Bartholin cyst. A bump the size of a pee or as large as walnut just under the skin of the labia. When I do my tantric massage, I always try to include the labia lips to gently stroke that area where the Bartholin glands are located under the skin. It is not known if this massaging actively has any clear health benefit but I know that it feels good from the reaction I get while stimulating the area. I assume light rubbing there would help the flow and therein possibly avoid blockage.
Fo some women who do not produce a lot of lubricant, sex and penetration can be annoying or even painful. Some of these women tend to think they can only have clitoral orgasms as they tend to avoid allowing penetration due to dryness. For these women I tend to apply a generous amount of organic coconut oil to anything that will go inside. I have had very good success rate once we remedy the dryness. Many women tell me they never knew their bodies could do the things that happen after that.
I have met a lot of women who do not like to have anything inside them. They tend to only have clitoral experiences and are missing out on another 80% of amazing vagina wonders.
If there was one thing Gillian knew, it was that she did not want a hole punch anywhere near her genitals.
So when, in 2018, a gynecologist recommended a vulval biopsy to check for signs of cancer, she hesitated. The doctor suspected that the whitish speck of skin that Gillian had found next to her clitoris was lichen sclerosus, a skin condition that is usually benign. To Gillian, a registered nurse, taking a chunk out of her most sensitive body part sounded a bit extreme.
But in the end she consented. He was a doctor; she was a nurse. She assumed he was the authority on this part of the body. “I never worked in OB-GYN before,” said Gillian, who asked to be identified by her first name to protect her privacy. “I was pretty clueless.”
Anorgasmia is delayed, infrequent or absent orgasms — or significantly less-intense orgasms — after sexual arousal and adequate sexual stimulation. Women who have problems with orgasms and who feel significant distress about those problems may be diagnosed with anorgasmia.
Among all women, the frequency and intensity of orgasms vary. Also, for any individual, orgasms can be different from one time to the next. The type and amount of stimulation needed to have an orgasm also varies.
Multiple factors may lead to anorgasmia. These include relationship or intimacy issues, cultural factors, physical or medical conditions, and medications. Treatments can include education about sexual stimulation, sexual enhancement devices, individual or couple therapy, and medications.
Female orgasmic disorder is another term for the spectrum of problems with orgasms. The word “anorgasmia” specifically refers to not being able to have an orgasm, but it’s also used as shorthand for female orgasmic disorders.
Often a husband shies away from making love to his pregnant wife because he believes she or the fetus could be injured. As it happens a pregnant woman’s libido is on the increase and not getting any attention in that area is not going to help her stress levels.
Masturbation as an alternative is nice but, being stimulated is much better.
Sexy Massage for Pregnant Women
So maybe you don’t feel so sexy… but you are. You glow when you are pregnant, and your skin and body are in amazing shape – ready to experience some relaxation and stress relief. You will be thankful for the attention and sleep like a baby afterward.
It’s the dirty little secret of baby-making: After nine long months, you’re overwhelmed by the love you feel for your newborn — and shocked to find how much havoc that bundle of joy is wreaking in the bedroom. If you’re feeling less than lusty after having a baby, you’re not alone.
“It’s completely normal for both women and men’s libido to hit a rock-bottom low during the first six to nine months following the birth of your baby,”
You don’t need to throw your sex life out with the bathwater. Here are a few secrets to help you dust off your sexuality post-baby.
Focus on mindful meditation while being brought to Orgasm
For women who are not familiar, OM (orgasic meditation) is a sequenced practice in which one person gently strokes the other’s clitoris. The “stroking” allegedly activates the limbic system and releases a flood of oxytocin. Some say the result is said to be therapeutic, rather than sexual – but I say, if you are there why not go the distance.
While most of the trendy services offering OM charge hefty fees to experience and learn the Art of OM – my sessions are free of charge and no tip is required.
